I am choosing to write about this openly not because I wish for attention, but because I feel the need to do this in order to help the healing and potentially bring help to others.
As friends started to head back to school and the reality of the end of winter break set in, I began to reflect on everything that had happened this break. There were the happy memories of Christmas celebrations with both family and friends, reunions with old friends and deepening of those relationships, celebrating mass in my home parish once again, and many other smaller moments that I will forever hold in my heart as precious.
However, this break brought one painful event that was a large falling out of sorts with a long time friend and someone I considered my sister. What I expected to be something like our usual arguments where we talk things over and grow in our friendship didn't end up nearly as expected.
After talking to a few friends about the situation, I reflected on my own in one of my "Jesus Dates" and this verse stood out to me. Honestly, right now the situation seems dark. Words were exchanged and things were said that hurt us both and to me, I immediately took that to mean that she didn't care about me - Not now, not last month, not ever.
Once I read this verse, I began to look at everything that occurred in a different fashion. Did what she wrote still hurt? Yes, but it didn't mean that she didn't care or that she meant to hurt me. When tempers and emotions flare it's easy to assume that the person only wants bad for us, but that's not true. After reading this verse, I went back and read the text messages that were exchanged with a different mindset, I went back and tried to understand where she was coming from and took mental notes as to where I could grow. Although I obviously didn't agree with all the things mentioned, there were a few points brought up that I will work on to improve myself for my friends, family, and to just be an all around better person to bring glory to Him.
Before this situation arose, one of the bible verses I decided to focus on for this year was Philippians 3:12-14 which reads,
"It's not that I've already reached the goal or have already completed the course. But I run to win that which Jesus Christ has already won for me. Brothers and sisters, I can't consider myself a winner yet, but I focus on one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Jesus Christ, is calling us."
Am I the only one who reads that and feels so incredibly empowered?
We can forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead knowing that our wrongdoings are forgiven and that we can continue to strive and run, not just walk, RUN to win and towards that which Jesus Christ has already won for me - Salvation and a lifetime with Him.
With a situation as this one I am hoping that one day the two of us can forgive the earthly words shared, forgetting the past (while still learning from it) and looking forward to what lies ahead for the both of us in Him and His kingdom. But until that moment, I pray for her and her healing. I pray that I can grow from the situation. I pray that one day our paths will cross again. And I pray that she knows His love and mine, always.
God bless.
